I said “I wish you could see the stars.”
He told me I should see love.
Back To Love - Dj Pauly D ft. Jay Sean
Whattttttttt. kind of catchy!
We went to the porno bar for dinner then to berkeley to visit my dear friend.
After running into some people while waiting to get ice cream, I realize that damn, I lost a lot of my social skills (except I didn’t have much from the start anyway!). I thought I lost some of my awkwardness after becoming ltg, but it seems to have grown since college started. I should start working on this hah.
I also realize that I am soooo jealous of all of the people who went away for college. It seems like they have made so many memories with their new friends and they seem to be very content. I am so happy that they have adjusted to their new schools but I can’t help but to be a little bit sad that i don’t get that same freshman experience. Although not all of my friends have made bestest friends at their college, they still get that experience of being away from home and living with others. Its not that I don’t have friends to chill with but I wish I made more friends at college!
At the same time though, even though I haven’t made too many friends at college, I have grown a lot closer to my family. I have spent a lot more time and have become so much more comfortable with my dear cousins, especially the ones who live like two blocks away from me. Anddddd thats important i think. I mean if I went away for college, we wouldve definitely not have such a great relationship as we do right now. ALSO I’m very content with what I’ve been eating at home! We’ve had a lot of family dinners recently, and all that yummy food makes me a happy camper.
Aside from this, I realize that I’m kind of sort of happy that I ended up going to community college. I meannnn i definitely encourage everyone to go out and experience life away from home because community college is oh so super duper boring. But for me personally, this may have been a good thing. I mean I was pretty devastated at the end of senior year, but throughout the summer until like now I realize that I don’t have myself figured out yet so i guess going to cc gave me some time to figure it out. I mean likeeee don’t most people find themselves in high school or whatever? I thought I knew what I wanted to do but I was sooo wrong. I think. Well i mean I might still be interested in it, but I don’t know. Lol does that even make sense.
My parents always ask me what I want to major in and what my “plan” is, but I never have an answer for them. Come to think about it, I don’t even really know what I like to do! Whatdahell I definitely like to do stuff BUT stuff like watching television or eating won’t really help me choose a major lol. Do most people even use their major in their careers? I would personally like to make use of my major when I go out to work. I guess I’ll figure it out sometime in the future. It’s not that I’m not interested in studying though. I like going to school and learning things, but I have not found the thing that I am actually passionate to learn about. That’s possible though right? I mean my high school classmates chose to go to their prestigious schools and study different things like engineering or environmental science or law because that is what they like to do right? If they can find what they want to study then I will be able too right? ITS probably just a matter of time i hope. hah.
Everyone tells me that I have a lot of time to choose, but really, I don’t. I WANT to apply for university in the fall, meaning I have to know my major some time very soon to start taking all the pre-reqs for the major. Honestly, I’m kind of scared to see how things turn out. Will I have to stay another year at cc or will I end up picking a major that I am not sure that I am interested in? Hmmm
Golly, I think half the things I wrote above doesn’t even make sense though. Hopefully you did not read this whole post. Why did I even type all this stuff here anyway. I shouldve written this in a diary or something.